Saturday, July 26, 2014

Scientific observations

Greetings all. It has been a while since I've graced the blog with a post. I am so gracing it now.

Tonight Inara is spending her first night away from home without her parents. She is at grandma Anita's house. She was pretty stoked for the chance (largely because it involved popcorn and the movie Frozen). As the movie ended about thirty minutes ago I assume things have went well. That Inara was heavily sleep deprived should work in Anita's favor. Either way we turned our phones off.

Anycase here is my main point of this post. We've been observing Inara's sleeping habits and have discovered something potentially groundbreaking. I have made the below graph to show the results of my research.

As you can see from the above chart the amount of energy Inara derives from a mere 15 seconds of sleep is equal to the energy needed to remain awake 2 additional hours at bedtime. This is nearly a payback of 500 times the invested (sleep) time. As the graph runs in seconds I could not adequately show what happens at the 1800 seconds mark (30 minutes). At this point the additional consciousness rises to 3 hours, but the payback is markedly decreased to a factor of 6. At the one hour mark of naptime it is speculated there will be an increase of consciousness equivalent to 5 hours. At the 2 hour mark no additional sleep is presumed to be required by the child. Ever.

As you can see the area with highest confirmed payback appears to be somewhere between 15 and 60 seconds. Additional testing is needed.

I will be publishing these findings in my paper entitled, "For the love of god, sleep" in the Journal of  Pediatrics and Parental Suffering.


  1. We need to know how the overnight stay went?

  2. Well, she tried to sleep, but at 10.00 om my mom called and said that Inara wanted to go home. She wasn't crying, but said that she needed to sleep at home. We didn't want to force it so I got in the car and picked her up. The interesting thing was that although nobody was angry at her in the slightest, she seemed to think it was a failure. She wanted to try again today, but I think we'll wait a little bit.

  3. I'm wondering if you think these observations are recent, and only your kids. There is a book out there similar to your paper however.

    1. We are almost certain that these findings are completely new. Otherwise the scientific community would have gotten together to inform potential parents.